My Secret Almost! Scholar
by deans-girl67
Summary: Dean has been acting weird since he got back from hell. Sam finds a box in Dean's duffle with a buch of college letters. Will these letters bring them together? WINCEST! Kinda weird for me, but I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

My Secret (Almost!) Scholar

**A/N: OMDSC! So, I wondered what would happen if Dean got lots of college offers and Sam found out. WARNING! THIS IS WINCEST! Sam/Dean, J2, whatever you wanna call it.**

Sam walked back into the hotel room, his hands filled with bags of food. Dean was sprawled out on the bed, writing in a notebook, completely oblivious to his presence.

"Hey, Dean. I'm back. What are you doing?" Sam asked, setting food down.

Dean quickly shoved everything into his duffle bag and faced Sam.

"Oh, nothing. Hey, I'm not hungry, so I'm gonna take a shower, okay?" Dean asked, his cheeks blushing a pretty, rosy pink.

"You're not hungry? Dean, you have to eat something. You haven't eaten since I got you that salad two DAYS ago." Sam said.

"I'll eat later, Sammy, promise. I'm dirty though. I need to take a shower."

"Dean, you just showered two hours ago. There's no possible way you're already dirty."

"Well, I am. And you're always complaining that I smell bad all the time. I'm trying to be more pleasant."

"Alright, Dean. Whatever. You better keep your promise and eat when you're finished."

"I will, Sam."

Dean looked at Sam and smiled shyly, thinking about how cute Sam looked in his button down.

'_I want him. No, I can't have him. Damn it, why am I in love with my __**brother**__?'_ Dean thought, shaking his head as he walked into the bathroom.

As soon as Sam heard the water turn on, he opened up Dean's duffle bag and started to sift through it. He knew it was wrong, but he was interested in what Dean had to say, or write, technically, that he couldn't tell him. He uncovered a medium sized cardboard box, possibly an old shoebox, and opened it. Inside there were 2 notebooks, and a ton of letters. Letters from Julliard, Stanford, Harvard, Yale, and a couple addressed to him from Dean. Sam's hazel eyes widened in shock. He had so many college offers, it was unbelievable! Dean always came home with F filled report cards, but Sam had seen him with Wite-out® a couple of times, changing the grades. But, Sam was also hurt by this discovery. Stanford…he went to school at Stanford. He and Dean could have stayed together. Dean had the chance to be a scholar, and he didn't accept. He was about to open the notebook, but he heard the tap turn off and quickly put everything back in its place. Sam tried to look casual, as if he hadn't just been looking though his brother's belongings. Dean smiled and shook his head, sending water all over Sam. Sam gave him a surprised smile, then an annoyed look.

'_Oh great. I pissed him off.'_ Dean thought as he took his salad out of one of the bags.

Sam watched as Dean stood at the counter and ate his salad with no dressing, which was basically all he ate now. Ever since he got back from Hell, he'd really been watching himself. He ate more healthily, he exercised frequently, and he made sure he took good care of his body. It was like he was worried about becoming obese or something. Which could never happen, because the man was already skinny as a twig. Sam got up to go eat with Dean. He figured he could help his brother through this.

"Hey Dean-o. Mind if I eat with you?" Sam asked.

"Be my guest. Just don't get any of your stupid dressing on my salad." Dean said, trying not to act like it was exciting that Sam was standing so close.

"Why? Are you scared of a little salad dressing?"

"Yes. It's calorie loaded and fattening. I'm not putting that crap in my body. And you really shouldn't either."

Sam was defiantly worried now. Dean loved greasy, fat inducing, foods. He used to eat double bacon cheeseburgers like they were going out of style. Sam looked Dean straight in the eye.

"Dean, are you okay? You aren't acting like my brother." Sam asked.

"I-I'm sorry, S-S-Sammy. I didn't mean to act weird." Dean said.

"No, I'm not mad or anything, it's just—you've been acting weird since you got back from Hell." Dean seemed to flinch at the word.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. I-I'll try to man up. P-please don't be mad."

"Dean, I'm-"

"You're mad! I knew it!"

Dean ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it when it shut. Sam sighed. He had to remember Dean was more…emotionally fragile now. Sam knocked on the door softly.

"Dean? Hey, dude, I'm not mad, I just wanted to know if you were upset. Please come out. We can talk about it." Sam said.

"No, we can't. I-I—I can't feel this way! It's wrong!" Dean said through sobs.

"Dean, it's not wrong to be scared, hurt, or sad. It's normal."

Sam's phone started to ring. It was Ruby, and he picked it up.

"What do you want? This IS NOT a good time." Sam said.

"Well, hello to you, too. What's wrong?" Ruby asked.

"One, Dean locked himself in the bathroom. Two, he's crying his eyes out. Three, he's acting weird, and has been since he got back from Hell."

"There's a diner called Sally's near your motel. You meet me there and bring Dean. Maybe insulting me a few times will snap him back to normal."

"Maybe. I'll see you around 7:30 then?"

"Sure, Sam. Bye."

Sam hung up. He had a reason besides interviews for Dean to leave the motel room.

"Dean! Dean, come on out. We need to meet Ruby at Sally's in 20 minutes. Get ready." Sam called.

"You go. You need a good time." Dean said, opening the door.

"Dean Tristan Winchester, listen and listen good. You will get dressed, put on your jacket, grab the keys, crank up some Bad Company, drive to the diner, and drink a beer, got it? _**You**_ need a good time. Go get some numbers, meet some chicks."

"O-okay. I'll get ready honey- I mean, Sammy."

"Did you just-"

"No."

Dean picked up his clothes and walked back into the bathroom. He suddenly became excited. He was combing his cropped, dark blonde hair and smiling.

'_Today is the day. I'm gonna tell him that I love him.'_ Dean thought as he brushed his teeth and put on a small amount of cologne. He had to look and smell good for his Sammy.

Dean walked out and Sam noticed that Dean looked and smelled better than he had since he got back.

'_Oh my god, he looks good—no, not good, HOT—no, no he looks downright __**SEXY.**__ What am I thinking? He's my brother. I CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH HIM.'_ Sam thought.

He and Dean walked out to the Impala and got in. They drove to Sally's with Bad Company blaring through the speakers. God only knew what was going to happen at the diner.


	2. Diner Fiasco

Diner Fiasco, Rejection, and Pranks

**A/N: OMDSC! I have like 4 reviews! I didn't think I'd have that many! Please R&R! The turtles are hungry! Thanks guys and gals!**

The drive to the diner was smooth. Sam was smiling at Dean, who was trapped in his own thoughts.

'_He needs to know. Maybe he feels the same. No he won't, he'll think I'm disgusting. But…No. Forbidden is what he is, I just gotta get over it.'_ Dean thought.

He hadn't even realized that he had pulled up to the diner. He came out of his stupor and got out with Sam. They spotted Ruby at the table in the farthest corner of the diner. Sam took a seat beside her, leaving Dean to sit on the other side, trying to somehow make himself invisible. Ruby grinned mischievously and thought about how much fun she was going to have.

"Hey, Dean. See any cute girls in here? Or maybe guys?" Ruby asked sweetly.

"No. Why? Do you?" Dean muttered.

"Oh, of course not. The only cute one is Sammy here, but you wouldn't think he's cute right?" Dean's face blushed scarlet.

"No, I mean, he's my, uh, brother and-"

"I mean, it's not like you think Sam is totally sexy and you want to have hot sex with him-"

"Stop talking."

"Why? You got a crushy-wushy on your baby brother?"

"No! I'm not gay!"

"Yeah, right. I'm sure Sam doesn't know about your little 'fantasies' about him, right?"

"Fantasies? What fantasies, Dean?" Sam asked.

"N-nothing, Sam. I don't have fantasies." Dean said.

Sam reached across the table and held Dean's face gently in his calloused hands. He studied Dean's piercing green eyes and could see right through Dean's bravado. Dean wasn't telling him something. Dean almost leaned into Sam's delicate touch, but with Ruby sitting there, and Sam being straight and his brother, he didn't, afraid it would cause some kind of problem.

"Dean, don't lie. Tell me, big brother." Sam said.

"I love you. Do you love me?" Dean asked.

"Well, of course! You're my brother and brothers love each other! Was that what you were worried about?"

"Yeah."

Dean couldn't help but feel like there was a TV audience in his head sighing at the rejection. Sam rubbed Dean's hair playfully and Dean suddenly felt like crying his eyes out.

"Sam, I'm really tired okay? I'm gonna go lay in the car." Dean said, before quickly walking out the door and to the Impala.

Dean started to cry. Ruby was teasing him, Sam—well Sam hadn't done anything, but his words still hurt. It just wasn't fair. He knew being a stupid emo bitch wasn't helping matters, but it felt good. It felt good to just cry and not give a shit what anybody thought. He buried his head in the comforting leather seat of the Impala and fell asleep, sucking his thumb to soothe him. Sam was in Ruby's face, growling and harshly laying into her for being a stupid mean ass.

"What the hell, Ruby? He's been really sensitive since he got back, and I told you that! Why are you so mean to him?" Sam asked.

"Maybe Dean needs to man the fuck up and stop being such a damn feminine freak." Ruby shot back.

"You don't talk about him like that! Don't you dare! He- He just needs some comfort. He needs his little brother to be there for him. Good-bye, Ruby."

"Huh. You are totally oblivious. He's in love, Sam. It's not just being back from hell, he's in love with someone who's off limits. Someone who rejected him. And you say _**I'm**_ the heartless one."

"You are. Don't pretend like you know my brother."

"Oh, but I do. I'll see you later, Sam."

Sam stomped out the door and out to the Impala, where he flung open the driver's side rear door, where Dean was sleeping soundly. Sam smiled until he noticed Dean was sucking his thumb. Dean only did that when he was hurt, scared, sad, or when he felt let down. Sam put his hand to Dean's forehead, which felt a little warm. Sam got in and drove to the motel, making sure to check on Dean in the rearview mirror often. He debated whether or not he should carry Dean in or let him walk, knowing he could easily carry his thin brother. He shook Dean slightly and Dean started to stir.

"S'mmy?" Dean slurred tiredly.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"F'ne. S'eepy."

"Okay, Dean. Just get out and go up to the room."

"Thanks, S'mmy."

"Welcome, Dean."

They walked up to the room and Dean simply went over to the bed and collapsed. Sam knew he was exhausted, because he knew Dean. And ever since he got back from hell, he'd had frequent nightmares that graced his presence every night. Sam desperately wished he could knock those dreams out of Dean's head so his brother could have a peaceful slumber for once. He didn't know what Ruby had been on about, but he was sure he'd find out soon. Sooner than he thought, even. Ruby was standing in their hotel room just a mere few hours later, thrusting a notebook into Sam's hands.

"Read it. Then you'll know why he's been so emotional. It's not just 'cos he was in hell." Ruby said.


End file.
